lawak jenaka

"Ada sorang makcik datang ke sebuah kota besar untuk pertama kalinya. Dia check-in di sebuah hotel mewah dan seorang pelayan membawakan begnya menuju ke bilik yang makcik ni akan menginap. Si Makcik mengikuti langkah-langkah pelayan itu dan ketika pelayan tersebut menutup pintu, makcik tu melihat ke sekeliling dan marah-marah kepada pelayan tersebut."Anak muda, aku mungkin tua dan kampungan, tapi tidak bererti aku ini bodoh! Aku membayar mahal untuk tinggal di hotel ini tapi bilik ini bukanlah bilik yang sesuai dengan bayaran itu! bilik ini begitu kecil, tidak ada kemudahan, tidak ada televisyen, bahkan tempat tidur pun tidak ada!""Makcik, ini adalah lift"

Penyakit Rubela

Rubela atau dikenali sebagai German measles merupakan sejenis penyakit yang disebabkan oleh sejenis virus biasanya ditemui pada tekak, darah dan najis individu yang dijangkiti. Rubela dicirikan dengan bintik-bintik ruam merah. Ancaman virus Rubela yang paling menakutkan oleh virus rubela ini sekiranya ia menjangkiti wanita yang hamil dalam tempoh 12 minggu pertama atau tiga bulan. Ini disebabkan virus rubela boleh merentasi sistem pertahanan uri dan masuk ke dalam tubuh janin yang sedang membentuk menjadi bayi. Jangkitan virus rubela pada bayi dikenali sebagai sindrom konginetal rubela. Sindrom konginetal rubela terutama pada peringkat awal kehamilan ini dianggap merbahaya kerana sifat janin mula membentuk. Sindrom konginetal rubela memberikan risiko kecacatan yang tinggi terhadap bayi dalam kandungan termasuk kecacatan seperti buta, katarak, hilang pendengaran, masalah jantung dan adakalanya terencat akal. Dianggarkan lebih 85 peratus bayi yang dijangkiti dalam tempoh tiga bulan pertama kehamilan terdedah dengan risiko yang berbahaya. Malah wanita hamil yang dijangkiti sindrom konginetal rubela pada akhir tempoh mengandung juga berhadapan dengan risiko bayi yang dilahirkan mempunyai perkembangan yang lambat bagi belajar berjalan atau melakukan aktiviti-aktiviti yang mudah. Rubela pada remaja dan orang dewasa dicirikan dengan pening kepala, sakit tekak, demam dan ruam kecil berwarna merah merupakan sejenis penyakit yang amat mudah berjangkit. Ia biasanya menjangkiti kulit dan kelenjar limfa.

*Penyakit Rubela ditakuti kerana rekod serangannya yang menakutkan. Ketika wabak Rubela merebak di Amerika Syarikat pada tahun 1967-1965, lebih 20,000 bayi telah dilahirkan cacat. Wabak Rubela juga dikatakan menyebabkan sekurang-kurangnya 10,000 kes keguguran dan bayi yang lahir mati sejurus dilahirkan. Dianggarkan 25 peratus bayi yang mendapat jangkitan rubela pada tiga bulan pertama usia kandungan dilahirkan dengan satu jenis atau lebih kecacatan. Ibu-ibu yang mendapat jangkitan rubela selepas trimester yang kedua, risiko mendapat sindrom konginetal rubela boleh menyebabkan masalah lain seperti:

-Lahir tidak cukup bulan
-Berat badan yang kurang
-Masalah makan
-Cirit-birit
-Jangkitan kuman dalam paru-paru
-Anemia
-Radang paru-paru
-Mudah mengalami pendarahan
-Bintik-bintik merah ungu pada muka dan tubuh
-Pembengkakan hati dan limpa

*Untuk menghindar daripada penyakit Rubela, seseorang itu boleh menjalani ujian darah bagi mengenal pasti sama ada terdapat antibodi terhadap rubela di dalam darah mereka. Wanita yang merancang untuk hamil dinasihatkan menjalani ujian imuniti terhadap rubela sebelum mereka hamil. Vaksinasi dapat melindungi wanita dan bayi yang bakal dilahirkan daripada sindrom konginetal rubela. Imunisasi ini tidak akan dilakukan terhadap wanita yang hamil. Bagaimanapun, doktor tidak akan menggugurkan kandungan sekiranya wanita terbabit tidak menyedari bahawa mereka hamil ketika mendapat suntikan imunasi. Rubela amat mudah berjangkit dalam tempoh satu minggu sehinggalah tujuh hari selepas ruam timbul.

Orang yang kehilangan shalat asar (dengan sengaja)

Diriwayatkan dari Ibn 'Umar r.a.: Rasulullah Saw. pernah bersabda, "Orangyang kehilangan shalat asar karena kesengajaan bagaikan orang yangkehilangan keluarga dan harta kekayaannya." [1:527-S.A.]---Shahih Al-Bukhari, dikutip dari buku "Ringkasan Shahih Al-Bukhari" disusunoleh Al-Imam Zainuddin Ahmad bin Abdul-Lathif Az-Zabidi [340-R.S.A.]

selamat cuti raye

smekom sume,cuti ni rasenye nk wat ape yer? dua minggu lg dh nk pekse akhir thn.sume dh wat peparation ke?klu x wat lg lbh baek gi study,kang mengamuk bonda.Dlm kesempatan ini juge sy ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raye dan maaf zahir dan batin.k ....

premier league news

Both Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres have been declared fit to play in Liverpool's clash with Manchester United on Saturday.

SATURDAY
Liverpool v Manchester United (12:45)
Both Torres (hamstring) and Gerrard (groin) were passed fit for the early kick-off at Anfield, despite doubts over their fitness persisting throughout the week. Sami Hyypia (hamstring) and Philipp Degen (groin) are sidelined but Albert Riera could make his debut.
New £30.75 million deadline day recruit Dimitar Berbatov could start on the bench as Carlos Tevez returned from international duty earlier than expected following his red card for Argentina last weekend. Michael Carrick returns to the squad after an ankle injury as does Owen Hargreaves after a knee problem. Cristiano Ronaldo remains out but compatriot Nani is available again after serving a suspension.
Blackburn Rovers v Arsenal
Summer signing Vince Grella is a major doubt for Paul Ince after pulling out of international action in midweek with a calf problem but Roque Santa Cruz has shaken off an Achilles problem. Andre Ooijer is expected to miss out with a hamstring strain and David Dunn is doubtful with a calf injury. Robbie Fowler is in contention after penning a pay-as-you-play deal with Rovers.
Samir Nasri (knee) is an injury concern for Arsenal while Carlos Vela is likely to be given more recovery time after his exertions for Mexico. Recent signing Mikael Silvestre (thigh) remains a doubt while Tomas Rosicky (hamstring), Amaury Bischoff (groin), Abou Diaby (thigh), and Eduardo da Silva (broken leg) remain on the sidelines. Theo Walcott is expected to be rested.
Fulham v Bolton Wanderers
Andrew Johnson (thigh) could finally make his Fulham debut following his big money move from Everton while Diomansy Kamara's knee injury is likely to keep him out until the New Year.
Bolton manager Gary Megson will assess the condition of Ricardo Gardner before naming his side, but Johan Elmander (hamstring) and Matt Taylor (broken toe) are absent while Gary Cahill is suspended.
Newcastle United v Hull City
Newcastle winger Jonas Gutierrez has given caretaker boss Chris Hughton a headache after dislocating his shoulder on international duty in midweek. The Argentinian joins Andy Carroll (heel), Claudio Cacapa (hamstring), Damien Duff (groin), Jose Enrique (hamstring), Mark Viduka (Achilles) and Obafemi Martins (groin) on the sidelines. Geremi (ankle) may return but Joey Barton is suspended.
Hull hope to welcome back George Boateng and Anthony Gardner after thigh injuries and Marlon King returns after having missed the Wigan game under the terms of his loan agreement. Sam Ricketts is fit after a bout of shingles and Kamil Zayatte and Paul McShane are in contention for a place in the starting line-up. But fellow new signing Daniel Cousin is suspended.
Portsmouth v Middlesbrough
Portsmouth's only transfer deadline-day signing Nadir Belhadj may have to make his debut from the substitutes' bench. Niko Kranjcar remains sidelined with a long-term ankle injury while newcomers Jerome Thomas (back) and Glen Little (thigh) remain out. Kanu is still lacking match fitness and is unlikely to start.
Middlesbrough will be without striker Tuncay (knee) and midfielder Mohamed Shawky (hamstring). Jeremie Aliadiere has been in training but defender David Wheater (tonsilitis) is also a doubt. Julio Arca is also back in training following ankle ligament trouble, but Saturday's game may come too soon.
West Bromwich v West Ham
West Brom have an injury doubt over right-back Gianni Zuiverloon (hamstring) but James Morrison (knee) should be available for selection. Abdoulaye Meite could return after two weeks out with a calf strain but the game comes too soon for Neil Clement and Filipe Teixeira (both knee). New signings Ryan Donk and Jonas Olsson are both hoping to make their debuts.
Gianfranco Zola will have to wait until Monday to begin his Premier League managerial career, and caretaker boss Kevin Keen will be without long-term injury victims James Collins (knee), Danny Gabbidon (groin), Jonathan Spector (hip) and Kieron Dyer (broken leg) for the trip to the Hawthorns. James Tomkins is close to a return following a knee problem.
Wigan Athletic v Sunderland
Jason Koumas (ankle) is a doubt while Maynor Figueroa, Wilson Palacios, Antonio Valencia and Amr Zaki will be assessed on their return from international duty. But both Emile and Kevin Kilbane came through the respective intentional games unscathed. Erik Edman remains out with a long-term knee problem.
Anton Ferdinand is in line to make his debut for Sunderland but captain Dean Whitehead has been ruled out with a hip injury. Teemu Tainio and Dwight Yorke are set to feature against the Latics after recovering from hamstring strains.
Manchester City v Chelsea (17:30)
Manchester City manager Mark Hughes will assess the fitness of £32.5 million signing Robinho before deciding whether to start him. Argentina defender Pablo Zabaleta may also make his debut and Micah Richards could be available after a shoulder injury but Martin Petrov (knee) is definitely out and Michael Johnson (groin) is doubtful.
Chelsea midfielder Michael Essien is facing a lengthy spell out with a knee injury but Didier Drogba could make his first appearance of the season after recovering from a knee injury. John Obi Mikel could replace Essien while Joe Cole has been given the all-clear after sustaining a head injury in Croatia.
SUNDAY
Stoke City v Everton (13:30)
Stoke goalkeeper Steve Simonsen could make his first start of the season as Thomas Sorensen is struggling with a back problem. The Potters will be without the suspended Amdy Faye after he was sent off in the defeat at Middlesbrough so Glenn Whelan could come into the side.
Everton new boy Marouane Fellaini is set to start but Lars Jacobsen is looking at three months with a dislocated shoulder. Segundo Castillo and Jack Rodwell are also doubts while Steven Pienaar (ankle), Andy van der Meyde (hamstring), Tony Hibbert (cruciate knee ligament), Tim Cahill (metatarsal) and Joseph Yobo (ankle) are all missing. And Louis Saha is still struggling with a calf problem.
MONDAY
Tottenham Hotspur v Aston Villa (20:00)
Roman Pavlyuchenko is in line to make his Tottenham debut, although on-loan Manchester United youngster Fraizer Campbell is also hoping to take his bow in a Spurs shirt. Alan Hutton (ankle) and Hossam Ghaly (knee ligaments) remain on Spurs' long-term injury list.
Villa defender Carlos Cuellar (calf) could be in contention to make his debut against Tottenham while James Milner could make his first start. Midfielder Craig Gardner (hamstring) is expected to be fit but Steve Sidwell is again unlikely to feature after sustaining a knee problem on reserve duty.
Follow every Premier League game with live text commentary right here on eurosport.yahoo.com over the weekend!

english premier league

malam ini akan menentukan siape yg lebih hebat,perlawanan antara liverpool dan manchester united ditunggu2 oleh peminat


More Stories
Liverpool v Manchester United
Blackburn v Arsenal
Fulham v Bolton
Newcastle v Hull
Portsmouth v Middlesbrough
West Brom v West Ham
Wigan v Sunderland
Manchester City v Chelsea
Stoke v Everton
Tottenham v Aston Villa

good luck 4 all n selamat berpuase

semoga bjaya kepade sume pelajar ting3 ,terutamanya amirul azizi dan syafiq zaimi.Amirul azizi yang mendapat anugerah peningkatan drastik ketika anugerah kecemrlangan pelajar berusaha bsungguh2 utk mendapat keputusan cemerlang.manakala syafiq zaimi yg baru sihat drpd penyakit sakit mata perlu struggle abis abisan.keputusan trial yang agak menyedihkan bagi hafiy azim yg dngr khabar mndpt 5a sahaja dlm trial kali ini.Agak menyedihkan juga,pelajar f4 dorm 25 yg kehilngan sengat berbisa utk menjawab exam.semoga pekse akhir thn n pmr serta spm akan mendpt keputusan yg lebih cemerlang.disebabkan agak busy shingga x dpt meupdate blog,dalam kesempatan ini saye mengucapkan selamat berpuase pd bulan penuh barakah ini